The Love Serum
by stubborn-dreamer
Summary: Trinine (Tris x Jeanine) - "I was like a machine, cold and emotionless, bound by logic alone, and you broke me. You broke me and fixed me at the same time, Beatrice. You taught me how to feel." COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**My first Trinine :)**

**I wrote it with Speisla Cartoon Cartoon. It started as a play we made in the Facebook, but it was so good that I decided to edit, add a few things and make it a short-fic. So, this story is mine and her. There will be 4 chapters.**

**One of my strategies in this fanfic was take scenes and dialogues between them in the book and '' romanticize them.'' You will recognize many excerpts of the book along this history. The title of this fanfic will make sense in the later chapters.**

**English isn't my native language, so forgive me for possible grammar errors. You can notify me about them and help me improve :)**

**I dedicate this fanfic to Speisla (my great friend, without which this story would never have been born) and to all Trinine shippers. I know they exist and are out there ;)**

**We (Speisla and me) hope you like it :)**

**...**

\- Beatrice! Beatrice!? Wake Up! This isn't real! It's a simulation, you hear? A simulation!

Jeanine holds the two girl's arms, in a vain attempt to calm her.

Tris is stuck in the simulation for more than half an hour, and Jeanine is already at her limit. She feels that she will be unable to watch it for much longer.

\- Beatrice?! _Tris!_Wake Up!

So, Tris awakens, with wide eyes looking all around, as if she had just come out of a nightmare.

She is pale, and her breath is an exasperated gasp. Her whole body is shaking.

\- Maybe this hasn't been a good idea. - Jeanine's voice is just a whisper.

Tris sits and puts hands on her head.

\- It's ok, I swear. It's just that ... it was so real.

Jeanine clenches her fists. Everything was her own fault.

Tris, in turn, is pale on the table, her face slightly damp with sweat, trying to control her breathing.

Jeanine looks at her heartbroken.

\- I shouldn't have accepted it.

\- It was necessary. - Tris responds, determined, while tries straighten the hair.

At twenty years of age, Beatrice Prior had very little of the shy girl who came from Abnegation. Tris was now strong, determined, confident.

Most of the time, this enchants Jeanine and made her proud. Most of the time, not all. And that was one of the times when she wanted to take back her shy and hesitant Beatrice, so she needed only say ''no'' to close the matter.

\- We could have found otherwise.

\- Baby, is meaningless to say that. - Tris insists - Is urgent find out how works the divergent mind.

\- Nothing is more urgent than your life.

Jeanine helps her with hair. Tris has a burning desire to wrap arms around her neck and hug her, but she can't. This is no time.

Tris gets up, a little dizzy, and grabs the edges of the table to keep from falling. She takes a deep breath a few times, and soon as she feels sufficiently controlled, she looks up.

\- Are you fine? - Asks the older woman, touching girl's shoulder.

Tris nods.

\- Now yes.

Jeanine presses her lips together, anguished. Looked horrible what she had done with her girlfriend, even if that had been Tris's idea.

And she feels even more horrible and selfish because she is curious to know about the experience. The question was out of her mouth before she could contain.

\- How was it? Were you aware all the time, right?

\- No. - Tris shrugs - Don't all the time. From half, kind of. But this doesn't made the thing less frightening. There was so much water ... and those birds …

She winces.

\- Okay. - Jeanine touches her arm in a comforting gesture. - Enough. Let's get out of here.

**...**

Jeanine turns out the lights and pulls her girlfriend out of her laboratory. Before closing the door, she looks at the inside. She never thought this could happen.

It's night, and there is no one in the corridors of Erudite building. Still, she takes the utmost care not be seen by the security cameras. And she knows exactly where is each one.

In the way to the home, Tris takes her hand and interlaces their fingers, resting head on her shoulder, trying to breathe the scent of her skin. Jeanine back to arrange her hair and accelerates the pace.

She doesn't want Tris know how much she's tense. It's not fair to put that weight on her shoulders.

It almost seems an irony of fate: the person who had taken possession of her mind and of her heart isn't just a divergent, but the stronger divergent of all time.

A cruel twist of fate. But there is nothing she can do about it.

Throughout her life, she always had a purpose, a single purpose: keep the city safe from the Divergents (or genetically pure, as they were known outside the fence). She was born for this. All the sufferings she had passed since childhood have had only one objective: make her strong to destroy the Divergents.

And she would have succeeded, if not for Beatrice Prior. The uncontrollable and wonderful girl that, with just one blow of her hands, had destroyed all the bases of her life and replaced it for something much simpler:

Keep Tris safe. Make Tris happy.

And in the end, that girl was divergent.

But Jeanine can't, don't want to move away from her. Tris had shown her what was happiness, what was confidence, what was love. She wasn't strong enough to give up Beatrice.

The time had come where she had to admit: Jeanine ''without emotion'' Matthews was weak.

She would have to find a way to reverse the divergence without destroying them. She couldn't turn into a monster, or would lose Beatrice for ever.

It made her tense and anxious. Almost desperate.

At the same time, she refused to let despair overwhelm her. It wasn't logical, if she was seeking answers. The despair only would everything more difficult, and failure wasn't a possibility.

Because she would never allow the fence was destroyed and Chicago was dipped in hell. She would never allow Tris was dipped in hell. She would rather die.

At home, the two are sitting on the bed. Tris has a cup of hot chocolate in hands, and seems fully recovered from the effects of the simulation. Nevertheless, the blame Jeanine feels doesn't diminish.

\- What you concluded from today? - Tris asks, trying to sound natural, don't wanting Jeanine feel worse.

Jeanine moves on bed beside her.

\- My conclusion is that I don't come to any conclusion. Your mind remains a mystery to me.

\- And it frustrates you. - It wasn't a question.

Jeanine want to say no, but she knows that is impossible to lie for Tris.

\- Yes. - She sighs - A little. But the frustration is nothing compared to my concern. I hate seeing you like that, suffering.

She cringes with the memory.

\- You're forgetting your goals. - Tris notes - The greater good, you remember? I'm the stronger divergent that you know. I have aptitude for three factions. If you can understand how my mind works, you can understand the mind of any divergent. By God, I would tell you if I knew what the secret is, but I also no have idea. This means that we have no choice.

\- Is strange hear my thoughts from your mouth. - She smiles tenderly at the girl. - I know, Beatrice. I'll find a way. Whichever.

\- ''Whichever?'' - Tris leaves her chocolate mug aside. - What are you willing to sacrifice for it?

About a year ago, the answer would be ''everything'' unhesitatingly. Tris asks this question because she wants to confirm her suspicions: Jeanine's feelings, dormant for so long, are clouding her judgment.

\- Almost everything.

\- Almost? And if the only option is ... increase the intensity of the simulations?

\- You already know the answer. - Jeanine's face is expressionless, but as always, her eyes denounce her.

\- We need to try. It is the most viable option.

\- You don't care about the idea of being with psychological traumas for the rest of your life, Beatrice Prior?

Tris let her guard down. Jeanine only uses her full name when she is irritated.

\- Well, I'm sure you can think of something better. - She responds, equally angry.

All that Tris wants is protect the city. And Jeanine is losing focus.

Tris knew instantly that she had made a mistake. Jeanine don't replied her, her expression not even is changed. A slight tremor flows at her right hand, and Tris realizes.

\- Jean ... I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.

\- I need chocolate.

Jeanine gets up quickly from the bed and goes to the kitchen. She needs to strive to don't slam the door.

Minutes later, both have cups of chocolate in their hands. Jeanine lets her hair down and takes off her glasses. Her expression is more serene.

\- Forgive me for what I said. I really regret.

Jeanine shakes her head as if to say '' Forget it. ''

\- It's ok. I understand that you aren't more comfortable than I with all this. - She takes a deep breath - But we'll find the solution together.

\- I'll help you with everything you need. When you have a new version of the serum, we will try again.

Jeanine is calm and categorical.

\- No.

But Tris don't gave up.

\- Yes. - Her voice is even tougher and determined - Only thirty minutes, okay?

Jeanine thinks for a moment.

One of the things more astonishing about Beatrice is her incredible stubbornness. When she puts something in head, nobody makes her change her mind. Argue with Tris is, in most cases, frustrating and tiresome, and rarely has some effect.

\- Fifteen minutes. No more than that.

\- This isn't open for discussion. Will be thirty minutes. End.

Jeanine turns her eyes for Tris, angrily.

\- You think it's easy for me to see you writhing in pain?

\- It isn't pain, it is fear. This is different.

\- Of course it's different. - Jeanine says without looking at Tris - Fear is more powerful than pain.

\- Maybe you're right, but I can handle it. I'm strong enough. And then, it's not like if I were be executed after you finish your study. Maybe with some sort of ''death serum?'' - Tris frowns, now lost in her own reverie. She turns and looks at Jeanine with a real curiosity. - You never thought of creating anything like that, did you?

Jeanine is livid. She sends for Tris a look of incredulity and censorship.

\- Okay. - Tris apologizes - It was a bad joke. But you know what I mean. I will not die in the process. And it will not be in vain. It will be worth it in the end.

Jeanine looks at her lover with eyes full of admiration.

\- It's incredible how much you has absorbed with such passion my goals.

\- Exactly. That's the funny thing about love. The world of the person you love becomes your world. Your world and your goals now are also mine. And isn't just that. I support you, mainly, because_I believe_ in the things for which you fight. I want to protect my parents, my brother, my friends, all the people of this city. And above all, I want to protect you.

The Erudite leader is perplexed by that speech. Tris takes the opportunity to have the last word.

\- We will continue with the tests. End of the conversation.

\- How can you be so stubborn? It is a kind of talent of those born in Abnegation?

\- No. - Tris replies - This is a talent of all Prior.

\- That's not true. - Jeanine says smiling - Caleb is easy to manipulate, and your mom isn't as annoying.

\- My brother isn't easy to manipulate.

\- You blackmailed him for bring your lunch for you yesterday.

\- You're right, but he's my brother. Doesn't count.

Jeanine laughs a little. This is Tris's favorite sound. Its rarity makes it special.

\- Listen, I want to ask you something for a long time.

Jeanine feels a lump in her throat, but decides to no jump to conclusions. She nods to Tris, signaling for she ask.

Tris makes a dramatic pause and presses her lips together. Jeanine's heart accelerates.

\- How could you fall in love with a genetically pure? - the older woman's eyes widen. First by surprise, then, by fury. - Because frankly, this is bizarre. I mean, you, of all people...

She grabs the nearest pillow and throws on Tris.

The girl seems not realize it, because she is too busy dying of laughter.

\- Mockery is childish, Beatrice. It does not become you.

\- Mockery is childish, Beatrice. - Tris repeats, imitating her voice of the best way she can. - It does not become you.

\- Oh, cheeky girl...

Then she throws herself on Tris, knocking her back on the mattress, holding her by the arms. She kisses her hard, leaving the sweet taste flood her mouth.

For a moment, Tris gets carried away, melting between her lover's arms. She closes her eyes and corresponds to kiss, and Jeanine almost believes that won.

But then, somehow, Tris loosens herself of her girlfriend's arms, and throws herself against her, reversing the positions. Jeanine sees herself trapped between the incredibly strong girl's arms.

\- Nice shot. - Tris whispers in her ear - But if you want control me, you'll have to do better than that.

Jeanine's reply is categorical.

\- That was only the beginning.

Using all her strength, Jeanine gets above again, starting exactly where she left off.

Their discussion ends there.

**...**

**Just to reinforce, Jeanine wants to reverse the divergence without destroying them. That is, she will not do anything bad. Otherwise, Tris never would help her. ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**I thank the people who has reviewed! Here is the Chapter 2 :)**

**...**

Tris has never been accustomed to mirrors.

Look at her own reflection is still strange, despite her being an erudite member four years ago. There is a part of her that still has some resistance to this gesture, a part that wants to divert the face, as if someone were to reprimand her at any time. But then she remembers that she is a Erudite. And Erudite has no problem with mirrors.

The reflected image there is completely different from what she used to see every three months, and only for a few seconds, in the mirror of her former home in Abnegation.

Tris in front her now has the long blonde hair loose freely around her shoulders. The makeup she wears highlights the features of her face and lights up even more the blue of her eyes. The glasses - which she had rejected at first, but which Jeanine has convinced her to use saying they made her hot - to her surprise, falls perfectly in her face. She is wearing a blue dress - the usual clothing of the erudite women - glued to the body, revealing the curves that she never realized she had. That image is, to her, somewhere between creepy and fascinating. Tris can't deny: she is very beautiful.

The woman standing in the doorway behind her seems to be thinking the same thing.

\- A Erudite from head to toe. - says Jeanine with her arms crossed, looking at the girl in the mirror - I can't imagine you at any other faction.

\- Erudite was one of results of my test. And if the test was done by you, there is no chance of it being wrong.

Jeanine opens a satisfied smile and walks toward Tris, until be close enough to touch her. Their eyes meet in the mirror, and Tris feels a sudden heat through her body. The beats of her heart takes on a fast pace and suddenly, breathing isn't so easy like she remembers.

This happens whenever Jeanine looks at her that way. See those icy gray eyes shining with desire (desire for_ her_) is a thing too much excitant so she gets used.

A shiver runs her from head to toe when Jeanine's fingers slides on her nape, brushing her hair to the side. She closes her eyes, consumed for pleasure, and she is unable to contain a moan when older woman's lips touches her neck. Jeanine's hands locks around her waist like steel girders.

Tris remembers her initiation days, when her feelings for the Erudite leader started to surface. Initially, she was desperate, thinking she was going crazy. All she could think about was that she needed to repress those feelings at any cost before it was too late.

What, at the time, she had not yet realized was that, in fact, it was too late. From the first moment their eyes met at the Choosing Ceremony. Their fates had been traced there. The fire, once lit, would burn even if it wasn't fed, because it was strong enough to have own life.

Unable to bear, Tris turns her body suddenly, getting in front of her lover, and attacks her lips hungrily.

The kiss is hard and intoxicating, and hands of both women wander by other's body, touching and feeling the delicious proximity which they never are satiated.

They just realize they are going too far when Tris's hair is all messy, and Jeanine's coat has two buttons open.

They move away, breathless, running their hands through of their hair, trying to straighten their wrinkled clothes. Jeanine's face has a intense blush, and her gray eyes seem almost black.

\- My apologies. - says Tris, closing the buttons of Jeanine's coat.

Jeanine smiles a little.

\- You don't have to apologize for that, Beatrice. I'm the one who started the whole thing.

\- Don't think that I found bad. - says Tris, smiling back - But I need to go to work now. And speaking of which, how's it going the new version of the serum?

\- Actually, I really wanted to talk to you about it. I had an idea that can help us. Meet me in my laboratory today at 7 pm. You have the password, right? - Tris nods - Great.

\- All right. I'll be there.

\- Be careful not to be seen. Don't draw the attention to yourself. Now I need to start a meeting with some scientists. See you at night.

\- But we will not spend all night talking about the serum, right? - Tris takes Jeanine's face in her hands and gives a peck on her lips.

Jeanine smiles.

\- Of course not. Obviously there are more interesting things than the serum. And we'll have the whole night.

\- Right. - says Tris, feeling her cheeks get hot - The whole night.

And they can hardly wait.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello! I would like to thank to the people who reviewed last chapter.**

**I said, in the first chapter, that this story would have four chapters. Well, now will be six and this is the third.**

**We (Speisla and me) hope you like it :)**

**...**

Tris and Jeanine are back to laboratory.

They do this very often in recent days, and it isn't something that bothers Tris, anyway.

Jeanine writes something in her computer, while Tris looks at the machine in front of her. It is an MRI machine.

\- Do you think this can help?

\- I believe so. - Jeanine replies without looking up from her computer - This machine will take pictures of your brain. If I can get information through images, it might make everything easier.

\- Sounds interesting. Will you let me see the scan, right?

\- Of course. We will see the scan together. Depending on the result achieved, I can alter the serum without inject it in you.

\- You will have to inject it in me anyway. Don't run away from reality.

Jeanine sighs, defeated.

\- Lie down, Beatrice. Let's just get it.

\- I just will do it if I have a kiss before. - Tris has a mischievous look - A _true kiss_.

Jeanine frowns.

\- Are you sure that this is an appropriate moment?

\- Yes. I'm pretty sure.

They look at each other for a moment. Then, Jeanine walks up to Tris and stops in front of her. She puts her two hands on girl's shoulders and press their lips. Tris throws her arms around her neck and deepens the contact. A minute later, the kiss is broken.

\- Did this satisfy my end of our agreement, Miss Prior?

Tris gives a last peck on her lips.

\- Yes. - she says - It did.

**...**

She walks over to the tray and lies down. The metal feels like ice, but Jeanine's warm eyes warms her.

\- Try to stay as still as possible. This will make it faster. I see you in a little while.

The tray slides back, and she is inside the machine.

Tris stares at the whiteness and remembers that when she was younger, she thought the paradise was like that, just a white light and nothing else. Maybe it was, maybe not.

She hears the thumping of the machine, and they remind her the beats of a heart. Jeanine's heart beating in her ear when they sleep together. Soft and comforting. Her eyelids become extremely heavy.

The next thing she remembers is her girlfriend's hands shaking her shoulder.

She opens her eyes and realizes she's out of the machine. Jeanine is looking at her with an amused expression.

\- When I asked you to stay still, I didn't exactly said you to sleep during the examination.

\- I wasn't sleeping. - Tris contests, and then, she frowns - I was?

Jeanine smiles and shakes her head. She reaches out to Tris.

\- Come on, my sleepyhead. Let's look the scans.

**...**

\- Put them up there, please. - says Jeanine, pointing towards a large screen on the left wall.

Tris touches her computer screen, and an image appears. An image of her brain.

She doesn't know exactly what she is seeing. During her classes in the initiation, she learned about the regions of the brain and what each of them make, but she doesn't know exactly how her brain compares to others.

Jeanine taps her chin and stares the image for what feels like a long time.

\- What up? - asks Tris - What do you see?

\- Okay. - She finally says - Let's recall your initiation classes. Can you tell me as to what the prefrontal cortex does, Beatrice?

Tris focuses in the images.

\- It's the region of the brain behind the forehead, right? It's responsible for organizing your thoughts and actions to attain your goals.

\- Exactly. - Jeanine smiles at Tris, proud of her intelligence. - I see that you paid attention in your classes. Now, can you tell me what did you observe about your prefrontal cortex?

\- It is large. - Tris replies immediately - It is much larger than the average.

\- Indeed. - Jeanine notes - In fact, it is one of the largest prefrontal cortices I have ever seen. Yet the orbitofrontal cortex is remarkably small.

Tris takes her eyes of the images for the first time and returns them to her girlfriend.

\- And what exactly does that mean?

\- The orbitofrontal cortex is the reward center of the brain. Those who exhibit reward-seeking behavior have a large orbitofrontal cortex. That means that you engages in very little reward-seeking behavior.

Tris reflects about Jeanine's words and comes to the conclusion that this characteristic is a legacy of her past in Abnegation.

\- Not only that. - Jeanine continues - This doesn't indicate something just about your behavior, but also about your wishes. You isn't motivated by rewards. However, you are very good in direct your thoughts and actions for the achievement of your goals. This explains both your tendency to harmful-but-selfless behavior, and perhaps, your ability to wriggle out of simulations. And I think finally we can understand the source of your incredible stubbornness and your talent for getting into trouble.

Tris rolls her eyes.

\- Don't blame me for it. I also have aptitude to Abnegation and Dauntless.

\- And I have chills to imagine what kind of trouble you would get if you had chosen Dautless.

\- Maybe take a beating that would make me unconscious for two days during the initiation. - Tris suggests - Or suffer an assassination attempt for being in the top ranking.

The older woman smiles and nods.

\- Something like that.

\- Okay. But how does this change our approach to the new simulation serum?

Jeanine delay to answer. A second, two, three. Her eyes become gloomy, and Tris sees there an expression that she recognizes. An expression that is very present in her face lately: Blame.

\- Jean? - Tris touches her shoulder - What is wrong?

\- Nothing. - She gives a long sigh - And everything.

\- Could you be clearer, please? - Tris touches Jeanine's face and departs a lock of her hair behind her ear. - I'm Erudite, but I don't yet read thoughts.

Jeanine presses a button in the computer and the image disappears from the wall. She closes the notebook and sits in her chair.

Tris observes her for a few seconds, then she walks over and sits on her lap. Jeanine closes her arms around her waist.

\- You will not get rid of me that easy. I still want an answer.

Jeanine's eyes are miles away.

\- It is harder for me than it looks, Beatrice. Studying you, analyzing you, as well as is done with an object. As if you were a difficult problem to solve. I can't get rid of the horrible feeling that this causes me. It is as if I were using you. You. My Tris. - her face writhes into a grimace of disgust - It destroys me.

\- We need to even discuss it again?

\- No. - Jeanine's voice is a mere whisper - It doesn't help, after all.

Tris holds her chin and gently raises her head until their eyes finally meet.

Jeanine is aware of everything about Tris. Since the determined shine in her blue eyes, the warmth of her skin, the contour of her nose and her lips, until the slight tremor in her hands. Her hair smells like strawberry shampoo. She feels that she can spend eternity in that way, watching her face.

\- You don't have to think that way, okay? Because it's not true. It was my idea, after all. We're just trying to do what is right, using the resources we have in our hands. I'm fine, my love... - Tris brushes her nose with Jeanine's nose, then leans to kiss her neck - All is well.

\- When you put the words in this way, I can almost believe them.

Tris raises her head and looks back at the her girlfriend's face.

\- That's exactly my intention. That you believe. Because it is the truth.

\- Okay. - Jeanine kisses her lips and caresses her face. - I'll start working the new version of the serum tomorrow. I think I already know where is the key point of all. Let's go home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Last chapter I said that it would be six chapters, right? Well, now there will be seven. And let's see as far as it goes! haha :D**

**Speisla and I loved writing it, and we hope you enjoy reading it :)**

**...**

At that icy winter day, Beatrice Prior woke up later than normal. It wasn't usual for her, but it was cold and her bed was warm.

She reaches out, looking for another warm body next to her, and finds nothing.

She opens her eyes and realizes that she is alone on the bed.

\- Jeanine?

Tris takes the blue coat standing next to her bed and gets up. Cold strikes her face, but she didn't bothers to put a shoe.

She comes out of the bedroom and walks to the living room where everything is impeccably clean, organized and blue. Jeanine also isn't there.

She was beginning to worry when she found her in the balcony, sitting on the couch with a glass of milk next to her and a pencil and a notebook in her lap.

\- Jean?

The woman with gray eyes looks at the girl and gives a smile.

\- Finally you're awake. I was beginning to think that the serum we tested yesterday had put you in a coma.

Tris embraces her own body, cringing.

\- It's so cold ...

\- Really. - she walks up to the girl and puts her hands on her waist - But we can solve this easily.

Jeanine presses her lips to hers and hugs her, trying to warm her lover between her warm arms.

Tris requites the kiss, focusing in it. She enjoys every sensation separately, trying to absorb as much of each.

She senses how Jeanine's lips are soft, how her mouth is sweet. She is attentive to the standard of her movements, the way their tongues move together.

A while before the kiss end up, Tris bites her lower lip. The older woman laughs.

\- Oh, Beatrice ... That hurt.

\- Answer me one thing? - Tris asks bypassing Jeanine's face, trying to warm her hands in the heat of her girlfriend's skin - Why do you always calls me Beatrice? Okay, this is my name, but you don't like "Tris"? It's a lot more short and simple.

Jeanine shrugs.

\- Erudites aren't accustomed to nicknames. It's weird. That sounds like a dauntless name, and you're erudite.

\- Come on. - Tris insists - Not that bad. You can. Repeat after me: T-r-i-s.

Jeanine breathes deeply.

\- Okay ... Tris. Tris. _My Tris_.

The girl opens a smile.

\- That was great.

Tris caresses her cheek and gives her another kiss.

\- What you got there? - she asks, sitting on the couch in which previously was the blonde.

\- Oh, long ago I didn't open this notebook. Are drawings.

Tris looks her with a barely disguise surprise. Each new information about Jeanine's past was something precious.

\- I can ...?

Jeanine nods, and Tris takes the notebook and opens it.

The first drawings seem made by a small child. Are a lot of blonde people, a redhead woman with an angry face and a brown haired boy.

The other drawings are animals, the symbols of the factions, there are many things.

She sees a picture of Johanna with her scar, Max with his black clothes and his dark skin, Marcus Eaton with crosses in his eyes and tongue hanging out.

Tris laughs that.

On the next page, there are drawings of people closest.

A beautiful drawing of her mother smiling ... And a caricature of her father, angry, with a speech bubble on top that said: "I'm such an idiot!"

\- Jeanine!

\- What? It's not like he were see it someday.

Tris shakes her head and back looking the paper.

And she sees a picture of herself when she was little.

She stays very silent, seeing her own child face drawn with pencil. The drawn child seems uncomfortable in her own skin, like a frog with a tortoise shell.

\- I hope that doesn't seem weird ... But you were adorable when child. One afternoon I arrived here and the drawing just came out.

\- When you saw me at that age?

\- At that time, my office was in front the park. I saw you oftentimes with your mother. - she admits with a shrug, as if she wanted to close the matter.

\- Oh my God, it was awful.

\- Only the clothes, my dear. Only the clothes.

Tris laughs for a moment, and then her expression becomes reflective.

\- When I chose Erudite on the Choosing Ceremony, it was like if I had been reborn. Never thought I feel this good in a place in my life. I mean ... I was afraid I couldn't hide my secret. I was very afraid of you, specifically. But I've never regretted shed my blood in the water. This choice brought me you.

Jeanine reaches out and caresses girl's hair.

\- No one was happier to your choice than me ... my love.

They kiss again and intertwine in each other's arms discovering a great way to deal with the coldness.

Tris drinks a sip of Jeanine's cup, as she sits in her lap and the older woman leans back on the couch. Jeanine is too distracted playing with the soft hair and kissing her girlfriend's cold ears when she speaks.

\- I can't imagine you drawing this notebook.

\- That's what I was doing when you arrived.

\- I know, it's just ... it's unexpected.

\- I'm full of surprises, love. - she kisses her forehead.

Tris reflects for a moment.

\- Can I ask you something?

\- Yes, but I am not forced to answer ... Hey! Don't look at me that way, I was just joking. Wow! I made a joke. What you did to me, Beatrice?

Tris laughs and rolls her eyes.

\- Why the redhead woman in the first drawing isn't smiling?

The good mood disappears of her girlfriend's eyes.

Tris knows she made a mistake when Jeanine freezes, as always happens whenever anger grows inside her.

Jeanine sighs and when she speaks, her voice is calm.

\- Because she wasn't happy.

Tris don't responds.

\- Look ... I didn't grow up in a normal family - she blushed, because it was hard to talk about it without feeling that anger of which Tris was so afraid - The only person for whom I felt an absolute and complete love is in my arms now. The rest of the time was just competition.

\- Competition? Against whom you could compete? - Tris starts playing with blonde hair.

\- Against everyone. Against the other children, against my brothers, even with my mother. You'll notice that the majority of erudite of my generation have similar traumas. Until the Efficiency System it's over.

\- I read about it once, but I didn't found more information regarding it. There is nothing in any other record.

\- Because it was the first thing I did when I became leader: destroying the Efficiency System. I had almost no opposition. I wasn't the only one who hated these old methods.

Jeanine hugs her and supports her chin in her hair, enjoying the pleasure of having the person she loves in her arms.

\- But what was it exactly?

The blonde takes a deep breath.

\- This system gave permission to all erudite parents to disciplining and teaching their children with their own methods, in their homes. Most adults you know had Homeschooling. The school was considered too weak, and many parents didn't wanted their children approached kids of other factions. Now it's different: Homeschooling is no longer permitted.

\- But why no records? I don't think a change for the better should be erased from history.

\- We, the erudites, are very proud, as you know ... Well, except the Abnegation transferred. The lovely Abnegation transferred.

\- I'll tell Caleb that you praised him - Tris leans over and gives another kiss on her girlfriend - You had Homeschooling?

\- Yes - older woman's eyes becomes dark - And let's just say that my childhood wasn't the best time of my life.

Jeanine's voice is full of anguish, and Tris decides that it's better not to continue the matter. The last thing she wants is to make her suffer.

\- Okay. - Tris intertwines their fingers and looks her in the eyes - It doesn't matter anymore. You did what was right. You cared so other children don't suffer the same things that you have suffered. This faction couldn't be in better hands.

\- You make me smug with your compliments - Jeanine smiles a little - It's not recommended feeding the ego of a Erudite.

Tris returns the smile and shrugs.

\- I don't care. Not a bit.

Jeanine shakes her head in mock disapproval.

\- Sometimes I forget that you're a divergent. A rebel divergent.

\- And seems that this word no longer bothers you.

\- That word never bothered me. _They_ bothered me.

\- Seems to me that now they enchant you - Tris rubs their noses.

\- Only one - Jeanine takes Tris's face in her hands and kisses her lower lip.

\- Listen, not that I care dying of cold out here, but don't you think we should come in and have breakfast, honey?

\- You will have to cook. Because I tried heat up dinner yesterday and ...

\- Oh ... so that's why I felt burning smell.

Jeanine grimaces of hassle. Her poor performance in the kitchen is something that Tris pokes fun whenever she can.

\- Oh come on! - Tris takes her girlfriend's hand - I learned something very good in a cookbook. I can teach you.

Jeanine thinks for a minute.

\- All right. But I can't to ensure your success in this task.

\- It will work. You'll see. Now follow me.

She does what the girl asks, and they go to kitchen embracing each, running away the cold weather.

Jeanine smiles to herself thinking about how it sounds like a excellent metaphor.

Before Beatrice, she lived in a constant winter. Because the ice was _within her _as part of her being. There was no place for warmth in her heart.

Then that divergent girl appeared and changed everything.

Now, winter is just what should be: a season, a climatic condition, the cold time that brings snow.

Because her heart is now an eternal sun radiating heat. And this sun is called Beatrice Prior.


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter is the apple of my eye. Speisla and I were very touched, writing this until 2:30 am. We hope you also like :) **

**...**

While she transfers the liquid into the syringe, Jeanine's hands are shaking.

She looks at Tris, that is lying next to her. The girl is looking up, as if she were distracted by the ceiling patterns. Her expression shows calm, serenity, as if she were getting ready to go to sleep and not to face a simulation.

But Jeanine knows her girlfriend more than knows herself, and she knows that this is just a cover, a way of trying to do things a little better for both. She knows that in reality, Tris is terrified.

Jeanine takes the syringe and sits next to Tris. She takes a deep breath and holds one of girl's hands .

\- All is ready.

Tris nods.

\- Okay. Here we go.

Jeanine keeps looking at her.

\- You can still give up, you know. No need to be brave all the time. You just need to tell me, and then we'll find another way.

Tris shakes her head vehemently.

\- No way. We have no time. You worked on this, after all, and we need to know if it works or not.

\- I suppose nothing will make you change your mind, I'm right?

\- Yes, you are.

Jeanine can almost smile. Tris's bravery is admirable. So she decides that if Tris isn't coward, she also will not be.

\- All right. But I want you to hear something very important: no matter what you will see on the simulation. No matter whether you will be aware or not. Nothing will be real, and I'll be here when you wake up.

The girl with blue eyes smiles.

\- That looks pretty good.

So, Tris moves away her hair and tilts her head. Jeanine injects the serum in her neck and places a kiss at the injection site.

\- Be brave, Beatrice.

She squeezes Tris's hand until her knuckles turn white, as if that would help in some way. Jeanine knows that doesn't help, but now, she needs this contact in the same way she needs air to breathe.

Now there's nothing left to do but wait.

**...**

The first thing Tris sees is darkness. She always sees it ere the simulations start.

She wakes up in the middle of a meadow outside the city limits. Tris has never been outside the fence, and the vision of a place that isn't Chicago seems strange and fascinating at the same time.

A road extends straight. Everything seems calm, peaceful. Too quiet. Tris hates those death silences.

She starts to walk down the road, watching the surroundings. The sky is gray, the trees without leaves, as if everything was crying in tune.

She sees in the distance, the shape of a house, and accelerates the pace, suspiciously.

Upon arriving, she is faced with a huge and gloomy house. It looks clean and tidy, too rigid. There is no sign that someone lives there, but the door is open.

Tris enters the house, looking around. The house has a normal appearance, similar to any house where persons return after a day's work, or receive visits in one day Sunday. But still, Tris feels a sinister atmosphere hovering there.

Upon entering in the kitchen, she is startled to find a woman.

The woman is sitting at the table, covering her face with her hands. She's redhead and mature, and is completely motionless. She seems to be whispering.

\- Who are you?

The woman doesn't reply, and just continues whispering.

Tris can understand some words, and she is about to say something when the woman removes her hands of her face.

And she sees person's face she loves most.

Not exactly equal to Jeanine. The lips are thicker and the eyes are green. But the rest is identical.

\- You're making a mistake. - says the woman, with tears in her eyes.

\- What are you talking about? - Tris question, trying to stay calm.

\- She will end up destroying you, well as she destroys all she touches. She is incapable of love.

\- I don't understand...

\- Have brought her to the world was the worst mistake of my life. - the woman sobs and holds her face between her hands again - Joshua said it wasn't true, that she would be bright. But I'm sure that we made a mistake. This wasn't to be that way. I always knew, since I have had her in my arms: something was wrong with that child.

Tris wants to yell at the woman, she wants to tell her that no, there is absolutely nothing wrong with Jeanine. But something tells her that is better don't do it. Then, she turns her back and walks away.

Trying to control her chills, she examines the place. There is a door on the right.

She opens the door. And she can't contain a horror scream.

There is a dead girl on the floor.

There is not a single spot of blood, but Tris sees death in her silver-gray eyes. She closes the door instantly.

She's totally stunned, and she can feel her heart beating in her throat, as if it wanted walk out the her mouth. She breathes a few times and calms down.

''What will I do now?'' She thinks.

Then the scene changes.

Suddenly, she's back to the laboratory, and that's the most comforting thing that could have happened.

In all those weeks, Tris had become accustomed to the laboratory. The icy atmosphere that frightened her at first was now indifferent. She had grown used to silence, to the white walls, the sound of Jeanines's fingers tapping on the keys of the computer or scribbling her notes with one hand while she hugged her with the other. The constant presence of her girlfriend makes her feel at home.

A few meters away, she sees Jeanine sitting in her chair. She is staring a syringe that is in her hands. The syringe contains a purple liquid.

Tris approaches her.

\- This is the new version of the serum, right? It is ready?

Tris expects that Jeanine look at her back, but she not even blinks upon hearing her voice. Her face is cold, lifeless, devoid of any emotion.

\- Jean? Is something wrong?

Jeanine gets up from her chair, still holding the syringe. She goes through Tris without looking in her direction.

Tris's heart accelerates. A cold shiver runs her body. There is something terribly wrong.

\- Jea ... Jeanine?

Then, two people enter through the door. They are wearing blue clothes of Erudite, and for some reason, Tris can't see their faces.

\- Put her on the table. - Jeanine says, but that isn't Jeanine's voice. Not the voice of_ her _Jeanine, after all.

It is the voice of a Jeanine fully robotic and without compassion. Tris begins to panic.

\- What are you doing? Jean? Love? Look at me! Damn! Look at me_ now!_

Then, the two men holds her by the arms and throws her on the table. She tries to fight and escape from their clutches, but her efforts are useless.

\- First version of death serum - Jeanine smiles coldly, proud of herself - and I couldn't have found anyone better to test it. Goodbye, Beatrice. Be brave.

\- Why are you doing this? - Tris screams between sobs. - I thought you loved me!

Jeanine inserts the needle into her neck, and the last thing she sees are her glasses reflecting the fluorescent light. Then, only darkness.

**...**

The first thing that Tris is aware is to be between Jeanine's arms, crying convulsively.

-It's okay, it's okay... - Jeanine whispers like a mantra. - It's all okay.

Tris clings to her with all her might, like a lifeline. Her lungs agonize from lack of air, but she can't stop crying. She is afraid to look in Jeanine's eyes and see that they are blank like in the simulation.

\- It's all okay. - Jeanine repeats - It's over. Nothing was real. I am here.

Tris sobs through her tears, and relief floods her to the see her girlfriend's face. The same face she always saw and loved.

They can't look away from each other, afraid that all disappear.

\- Whatever it is, you will not have to go through that again. - a radiant smile crosses Jeanine's face. - You did it!

Jeanine hugs Tris, that still shakes a little. See her strong and brave Beatrice this way breaks her heart.

\- You mean ...

\- Yes. It worked. And in a very amazing way. - Jeanine shows her the yellow serum in her hands - This serum works with the divergent. All thanks to you.

Tris sighs and wipes her last tears. She is sufficiently recomposed, but still refuses to release her girlfriend.

\- You have sure about that?

Jeanine nods.

\- Of course I do. - she frowns - Don't you noticed it? At some point you were aware that it was only a simulation?

Tris thinks about it.

In all simulations wherein she' been, however bad they were, she realized the truth at some point, and a voice in her head told her "This is not real."

But not this time.

\- Oh! - she says - No. At no time. But ... now what?

\- I'll deal with the rest. I'll have to discuss it with the other leaders, but I'm sure Johanna Reyes will back me.

Tris nods, thinking over her words. Seems too good to be true. It all had just finished.

Jeanine puts her hand on Tris's forehead.

\- Oh dear, you're icy! What was so bad this time around?

Tris's eyes widen. Her lips tremble, and a shiver runs through her body to the remember the simulation. She can still clearly hear the voice of Jeanine's mother.

"_She will end up destroying you, well as she destroys all she touches. She is incapable of love."_

Suddenly, Tris feels angry. That isn't true. _Not true_. She knows that.

\- Okay. - the older woman's voice interrupts her thoughts - I understand that you are still scared. You don't need to tell me it now.

Tris grabs Jeanine's hand and looks deeply in her eyes.

\- There is nothing wrong with you, do you understand? - Jeanine doesn't understand what it means, but she concludes that it has something to do with the simulation - Never let anyone convince you that. You are the most brilliant person I know. And beautiful, and intelligent ... - the images of the simulation back to Tris's mind, and she almost smiles when she realizes how much Jeanine in front her has nothing like to that nightmare. - And I love you.

Jeanine smiles. With a so pure and radiant smile that a monster could have ever. A smile that makes Tris shudder, thinking about how she can't live without this woman.

\- If there was a stronger word than ''love'' - Jeanine says with tears in her eyes - it would describe perfectly what I feel for you, Beatrice. But since there is no, I say I love you too, and each day you make me more human.

Jeanine brushes her nose to Tris's nose and kisses her forehead, her eyes, her cheek, and finally those parted lips that are waiting patiently.

The kiss is tender and sweet, long and intense. When they separate, both women have tears running down their faces.

Jeanine wipes her tears, trying to compose herself.

\- Let's celebrate.

\- And what you have in mind for the celebration? - asks Tris.

\- You and me. In our home. And hot chocolate.

\- Sounds great. - Tris rises from the table and hugs her girlfriend's shoulders. - Do you know? Even the simulations are worth, if what come after is chocolate.

Jeanine rolls her eyes.

\- This is not funny. I don't want to see you in a simulation again anytime soon in my life.

\- It is relative. - Tris argues - It depends of the serum, and of the simulation. Maybe you can create something like a... love serum? I'm sure the simulations it would cause would be great.

\- A love serum? - Jeanine frowns, concentrated, like she was really beginning to consider the idea - Maybe. But I don't think I need this to love you.

The girl smiles and kisses the woman with gray eyes.

\- I'm very happy about that.

Hand in hand, they go to home.

**...**

**Someone told me once that the name of the shipp should be "Jeatrice" It sounds to me very good, actually. What do you think?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Well ... That is, to all intents and purposes, the last chapter of the fic. There will be a prequel, and it will be published as soon as I finish writing. I hope you like it ;)**

**...**

Tris is watching the clock for thirty minutes.

However, she has the feeling that every minute is, actually, an hour.

She has a chemistry book open on her lap, and is using one of Jeanine's overcoats. Her girlfriend's smell distracts her, and she can't concentrate on reading.

Two weeks ago, Jeanine had gotten what she was looking for so long: create a serum that worked in the divergent. Tris still shivers at the memory of the simulation that had proved that. The simulation of which she wasn't aware. The worst nightmare she had lived.

She breathes the smell of the coat again, trying to drive away the fear and remind herself that the woman she loves isn't the monster she saw in the simulation.

So Tris hears the sound of steps toward the bedroom. Immediately, she throws the book aside and gets up.

Jeanine enters and closes the door behind her. She throws her document folder on the bed and removes the blue overcoat, leaving only the sleeveless dress. Tris accompanies each movement with intense expectation.

\- How was the meeting? What did they said?

Jeanine don't responds. She just runs to Tris and kisses her deeply. A kiss that screams relief, emotion, joy.

\- Hey! - Tris laughs and caresses her face - Calm down and tell me what happened.

\- They supported me, Beatrice. They are _on my side_.

Her voice is low and contained, but contains a bubbling energy.

\- Tell me everything. Now.

They sit on the bed. Jeanine is thrilled in a way that Tris had never seen before.

\- Well - she begins - Let's say I had to take drastic measures to that. And it wasn't the easiest thing I've ever done.

\- Drastic measures? What exactly do you mean?

Jeanine is silent for a few seconds and looks away, suddenly interested in the color of the walls. Then she finally stares at Tris.

\- I have revealed them the truth.

\- The truth? - Tris repeats.

\- Yes - Jeanine agrees - The real truth. The truth that the video omits.

The video.

Tris had seen the video only once - when Jeanine explained to her the reason for her trouble with divergents - and this was enough for her hate it.

At that time she felt, above all, tricked.

The Amanda Ritter's speech in the video has sent the idea that the residents of Chicago were in a noble and special mission, and when the fence was destroyed, they would be greeted as heroes.

Amanda had not revealed anything about what the world outside the fence truly was. She had not mentioned that people were separated into "pure" and "damaged". At no time she had said that the "damaged" people were rejected and discriminated against, or that the divergents were, in fact, only one bank of genetic material.

Tris thinks of her father, her brother, in all her erudite friends, and especially in Jeanine. She imagines the people she love being considered ''damaged'' and the idea makes her sick.

\- Are you talking about the Bureau? About David and all that ridiculous thing about genetically damaged?

Jeanine nods.

\- Exactly. And what happened next was a little chaos. Johanna had tears in her eyes and said some words not very nice. Marcus seemed willing to punch any object that showed up in front of him.

\- And then ...?

\- They just started to agree with me, and then we made a pact. Our top priority will be to protect Chicago. And we, the five leaders, will work together for this. As of today we no longer are a experiment of the Bureau. We are independent of it.

\- But the serum that you created ... where it fits in all this? How it will help protect the city?

Jeanine smiles at the girl thirsty for answers. The curiosity she sees in Tris's face is something that you only see in a Erudite.

\- It will protect the identity of the divergents - she says - Think about it, Beatrice. How do you discovers the divergence in most cases?

\- Through the simulations - she answers - I mean, there is still the behavior, but the simulations are the main point. The divergents are always aware of them.

\- Exactly. And what do you think will happen if no divergent is aware in any of the simulations?

Tris's penny finally drops.

\- Then no one will know that they are different. Not even themselves.

She is amazed at the genius of the idea. Amazed and haunted.

\- The serum will be administered - Jeanine continues - Erudite will create different versions of it, according to each faction. The aptitude test will also be reformulated and nobody anymore will receive inconclusive results. Every teenager, divergent or not, will receive a only faction as a result.

\- How is this possible? - question Tris - The main characteristic of a divergent is exactly have aptitude to more than one faction. How the serum will modify this?

\- If someone receive more than one result, the program will be forced to identify which one prevails to others.

Tris is open-mouthed.

\- You are a genius ...

\- Cara and Caleb are already on the team that will help me with that. Would you like to join them?

\- Of course! This will be fantastic!

Jeanine touches her girlfriend's shoulder, and soon after, caresses her hair.

\- I have great faith in this, Beatrice. It's the best solution I could find. Thus, the "divergent matter" nevermore will surface. This will protect either divergents and not divergents. All will remain secure within the city. They will never have to suffer the horrors of the outside world. David and those despicable beings of the Bureau will not use the GPs as reservoirs of pure genes nor massacre and subjugate the GDs as faulty objects. Within this city all will be equal.

\- Like you've always dreamed - completes Tris.

\- Yes - Jeanine opens a smug smile - And I have something to show you.

She reaches out to her briefcase and pulls out a hard drive. She displays it to Tris.

Tris takes two seconds to understand what it is about.

\- This is ... This is Amanda Ritter's video! I mean ... the original!

Jeanine nods, still smiling.

\- I brought this for us destroy it together. As a rite of passage.

\- This was with Abnegation! How you ...?

\- Don't worry. I didn't steal it from your former faction nor kill anyone to get it. This was given to me by Marcus Eaton. And he said me that if I didn't destroy this file, himself would do it.

Tris simply laughs. Seems too good to be true. But there is still one thing that worries her. Something that bothers her.

\- What about the Bureau? - She asks to Jeanine - They still see everything and control everything. What will we do if they decide to reveal the truth for themselves?

\- I don't believe they want to do it now. But anyway, we are ready to defend ourselves. - her voice is quiet and smooth, but the homicidal rage is evident - The leaders of this city are now strongest than ever. If they decide to touch Chicago ... Well, let's say they will regret. Bitterly.

Tris can feel the energy emanating from her - the passion in her words, the fierce determination on her eyes and on her face. That strong personality is one of the things she most admires in Jeanine. One of the first things that made her fall in love with this woman.

\- You did it. - Tris takes her girlfriend's hand - You finally did it!

\- _We_ did it. - Jeanine corrects her - And all thanks to you.

Tris shakes her head in denial.

\- No way. All the determination and the necessary knowledge came from you. It's all about you.

\- I am not referring to knowledge. - Jeanine sits closer to her girlfriend - I am referring to something much more important: humanity. Because before you, you know, I had in my mind other ways to achieve my goals.

Tris nods.

\- I remember. You wanted to kill all divergents. You thought the right thing to do was destroy them.

\- Yes. Because I had them as enemies. Because I saw them simply as a threat that needed to be eliminated, but you changed my way of seeing things. I was like a machine, cold and emotionless, bound by logic alone, and you broke me. You broke me and fixed me at the same time, Beatrice. You taught me how to _feel._

At this point, Tris can no longer see Jeanine's face, because her vision is blurred by tears.

\- It's not all about me. Because you also saved me. You told me the truth, you protected me of that world and of that horrible people. And there is no proof of love greater than this.

Jeanine don't argues with her. There is no reason for it. Because the same certainty goes through the mind of both: they had saved each other.

...

That night, Tris watches her lover's sleep.

She stares up at her body, that seems so much smaller during sleep than awake. She is only a few inches taller than Tris is, her hair only a few shades darker. She looks calm now, almost peaceful. And Tris knows she is.

Chicago is safe. The fence is still there, tall and imposing, protecting the city. And it will remain so for a long, long time.

She lies down next to Jeanine, thinking about how she have trouble connecting her asleep shape with the strong woman she knows. Within a few minutes, she is also sleeping.

Tris falls asleep in the same peace and serenity that emanates from Jeanine. With the certainty that all is well and they will be together.

Forever.


	7. Chapter 7

**Here is the prequel I had promised ;) Read the endnotes!**

**...**

\- Where are you taking me?

Tris tries to slow down, tries stop to walk against her will, but her efforts are useless. The blonde woman with gray eyes holds her wrist with a tremendous force and practically drags her by the corridor.

\- To my office. - Jeanine replies coldly.

Tris can feel the taste of adrenaline in her mouth. She can feel the beating of her heart in her throat, in her fingers.

Everything in that moment screams a only thing: danger.

''I will die.'' She thinks.

She remembers Tori's troubled expression to the tell her that she was divergent. She remembers her desperate warnings, her panicked voice telling her about the risks she was taking.

She could have protected herself. She could have chosen Abnegation and keep her secret forever. But she had chosen Erudite. She was under Jeanine Matthews's eyes, and now it was too late.

But still, even with a sword hanging over her head, even with the near certainty of her death, she can't help feel what she is feeling.

The adrenaline that was stirring now in her body wasn't just because of the danger. It was much more than that. The tightening of Jeanine on her wrist, the warmth of her fingers, the feeling of skin on skin, the proximity between them. All this caused in Tris a emotion different of fear.

This was absurd, Tris could admit it, but no one could lie to yourself in thought, and the truth was there, pounding in her mind, she willy-nilly.

And the truth was that she was attracted for Jeanine.

It was always there, in the background, because she tried to repress the feeling while the priority was to protect her secret. But in the safety of her room, minutes before sleep, the thoughts about the erudite leader invaded her mind.

The blond hair always bright and perfectly organized, the imposing posture causing fear and fascination at the same time, the authoritarian voice that gave her shivers down her spine. The eyes ... the icy gray eyes that seemed to want to pierce her, that seemed to be able to see her inside, in her soul. The full lips that gave her mouth water ...

Those thoughts caused her panic. She should be going crazy.

Tris back to reality when she realizes that both are in front of Jeanine's office. Jeanine opens the door with a push, and Tris's wrist is finally released. It is red and throbbing, but that doesn't mean anything right now.

Jeanine closes the door behind her and locks it with key. Tris swallows hard, and despair begins to dominate her.

''Definitely I will die here.'' she thinks.

Jeanine turns around and stands behind her desk, resting her hands on it. Her eyes are fixed in Tris's eyes.

\- Why ... you bring me here? - Tris asks. She knows trying to deceive Jeanine is a useless task, but she can't find anything else to say.

Jeanine smiles, but her smile doesn't contain any mood.

\- Don't play naive. You know very well why. Your aptitude test wasn't recorded, you know the reason?

Tris don't answers anything.

After five seconds, Jeanine nods, pleased.

\- Exactly what I thought. The fact, Beatrice, is that I'm always attentive to everything in this place. Mainly to initiates. I know you revolts with my hatred for divergents and you want to understand what is my problem with them. So today you will have your curiosity satisfied, because I will explain to you exactly what you want to know. All the truth that only I have access.

Tris's eyes widen. Jeanine's words don't make any sense to her.

\- What are you talking about?

Jeanine doesn't responds. She just starts typing furiously on her computer, then she rotates the screen for Tris's field of view.

\- See it. - she orders - And then I'll explain everything you saw.

At the end of everything, Tris's head is spinning.

The words ''Divergent'' "Bureau'' "experiment'' and ''genetically damaged'' are repeating in her mind as an unpleasant and deafening echo.

After that revelation, Tris sees all her certainties being taken like dry leaves in the wind, crumbling like wax sculptures exposed to the sun.

She never really understood what was be divergent. She never knew what it meant, or what exactly made her be so.

Anyway, given the urgency to keep that secret, she believed it was something extremely important. Tris always thought of it as a kind of power. Something that made her different, better, stronger.

Now, after having all the explanations, she realized that her divergence didn't mean as much as she imagined. It was only one word to determining a gene sequence. Nothing more.

She came to the conclusion, through Jeanine's words, that the Bureau considered her ''right'' while all other not-divergent people were just mistakes, products easily disposable. A totally sick and wrong thinking. The world outside the fence was a hundred times worse than she imagined.

All she believed was real, the past which was taught in school, all her life, the factions... It was actually just the product of an experiment.

\- I can't belive. - she mumbles, once she can utter a word - It is unreal, is absurd, is ... awful.

\- It's the truth. - Jeanine replies in a tired voice. Tris looks at her face and for the first time, she notice the weight that woman carries. The weight of that terrible reality, the weight of the responsibility to protect the city of it all. Suddenly, Tris wants to hug her.

\- This is wrong. That's not fair.

Jeanine rises up from her chair and walks to the door, leaning her back on it.

\- I know that, Beatrice. And it is against this injustice that I try to fight, though this becomes more and more difficult every day. You wanted to understand what I have against divergents, and now you understand.

\- I'm divergent. - Tris mutters, feeling her lips trembling with the words. She knows that Jeanine is already aware of this fact, but she still feels exposed and vulnerable to the reveal aloud her biggest secret. Mainly, to the reveal her biggest secret for that person in particular - And that means that you will kill me, right?

Jeanine breathes deeply. Very deeply. Her eyes close and her mouth remains open for a long time, as if she couldn't get enough air. Tris watches her with fascination, amazed to see how that woman is human, how much she has feelings, although she prefers to hide them most of the time.

When Jeanine opens her eyes, a tear runs down her face.

\- No. - she says in a whisper so low that Tris wouldn't hear if she were not so close. Her eyes are intenses, passionates, and in no way resemble the cold and calculating eyes with that Tris is accustomed - I could never, even if I wanted. And I would rather be dead before cause you any harm.

\- Do you feel the same, right? For that reason you told me all these things. For that reason you can't kill me even I being divergent. You feel for me the same thing I feel for you.

She hopes Jeanine deny. She expects Jeanine look her with surprise and disbelief, expects even she laugh and then say she's crazy. But it doesn't.

In those words, all the walls break, all the impasse ends. Their eyes attract each other like magnets, blue on gray. The truth is exposed for both, and they can't turn back. They know what they feel, and now they also know that the other feels the same.

Tris rises up and walks to the door, where Jeanine is stopped.

Before losing her courage, Tris holds Jeanine's hand and nears to her face. She waits a few seconds, wanting to make sure that Jeanine will not push her back.

One second goes. Two. Three. Jeanine remains in place, and Tris gains confidence.

Slowly, their mouths touch. At the beginning, gently, just a brush of lips. But then, feeling the flavor, the desire ignites in Tris's chest, and she crushes her lips in Jeanine's ferociously, shedding on the erudite leader all the feelings that had tortured her for so long. It isn't exactly a choice, is an urgent and painful necessity.

She dips one of her hands between older woman's hair, enjoying the pleasure of feel it between her fingers. Jeanine's hands are in Tris's waist, and she can feel that they are shaking.

Gradually, their mouths open up, their tongues intertwine and the two women moan. The pleasure of the moment is ravishing and heady.

After the kiss, they are with their eyes closed, their foreheads touching, sharing the same breath.

\- What do we do now? - Tris asks weakly.

\- I don't know. - Jeanine replies.

They kiss again.

The divergent and the divergent hunter. They are proof of how destiny could be cruel.

But they can't fight their feelings. Not after what had happened. Not after that kiss.

They are on the point of no return, and they know it.

**...**

**I would like to say thank you to everyone who read, commented, followed and favorited this story. Speisla and I wish we could give a hug and a cupcake for every one of you :)**

**I was very happy to know that there are so many people who love and support Trinine, and as Speisla always says: "The world needs more Trinine" haha :D**

**Again, thank you for everything and see you soon!**


End file.
